It sounds like you've already identified at least some of the source of your feelings. You said you feel excluded-from happiness, love, success and feel like an outcast. And you've identified it as envy, which most always points to feeling badly about yourself.

It might help to talk with her in ways that can minimize your fears of termination-you could bring this up without mentioning google. You could first ask her what type of things can be helpful for clients to talk about in sessions. Or you could tell her you have these feelings (fantasies) about what her personal life can be and it makes you feel envious. You could tell her you picture her happy with family, travel etc. and how it makes you feel. Or you could reference other people in your life that trigger such feelings-or just random people on facebook. So there are ways to work through the feelings that don't brush up against your fears as much as you are anticipating.

I've had trouble with these feelings too, feeling envious of my therapist's life. It was because my childhood feelings came out in the therapy-feelings that I was disconnected from-and I grew up feeling deprived. Technically, I was very deprived but disavowed all related feelings. It was difficult to overcome but it also made me realize (in time) that I am the only one who can create my own happiness and to do so, I have to take actions to get there. And it's hard. First I had to not beat myself up over having envious feelings. It's nothing that you yourself could have caused. And accept the feelings and all the badness inside.

Shoving the feelings aside at this point usually doesn't make them go away. If it is eating away at you, maybe she can help you with understanding and eventually getting past them.

Be good to yourself.