When my last therapist terminated me 4 years ago I eventually discovered, after 6 excruciating months, that the feelings associated with her rejecting me had mimicked, or triggered, or unfrozen, or something, feelings that I had had in my childhood, associated with feeling unwanted, unacceptable to other women in my family. No particular event that I could recall, just the unbearable feeling.

Once that feeling became (slowly) conscious, I was in-the-bed depressed for several days, and in horrible shape for a month or so. I wrote about it all extensively on PC at that time, that was the only human contact I had about it for a long time.

If that is at all like anything you are experiencing, it will take time -- because it's not just this trauma, it's the ones from the past, too.

I think it could be argued that the therapist doing that opened a wound, like a boil or absess, that had been long covered up, like a surgery -- except that all she did was open that wound and there was nobody and no "therapy" around to help me "heal". It was all just what my body/psyche could do, or not do, and . . .I lucked out, maybe? I have lived to tell the tale, anyway.

I don't think my "wound" is/was all that uncommon. Maybe people who have good therapy early on simply get over things and move on. But once this retraumatization has happened . . . I hope it helps, some, to know it can be gotten over, somewhat. The loneliness is, for me, still a large part of the pain.