StreetcarBlanche, thank u so much for ur reply, maybe I did love her more I'm not sure. I'm gonna give myself a few days and see how I will feel then I might try one of ur recommendations.

I'm sorry to hear abt ur cat, i know it's devastating especially when they die right in front of u, let alone while u're holding them. And yes the love of animals is one of a kind. And I always try to give them the same kind of love cause that's what they deserve.