...to marry him.

NO JUST KIDDING. hahahaha

Anyway, he's just the best. I left him that phone message after our session on Saturday and I specifically said to him, "You don't have to respond, I just want to tell you something."

Well, there was a msg. on my voicemail today with him saying, "I know you said that I don't have to respond, but I just wanted to let you know that I was glad to hear your message..." and then he literally went on for like 97 years until my voicemail cut him off.

Anyway, what he did ask me was not to SI at least up until after I see him tomorrow. This is a very big deal for me, as I have SI'ed every single night for many months. I told him, "Repeat after me-- This is a trial." So he goes, "Ok. This is a trial. Why am I saying-- this is a trial?" I told him because if I looked at this as a little experiment or trial it would be easier for me to get through the night and tomorrow without doing it. If I looked at it as something bigger, it would be too overwhelming.

He is confident that I can do this and we can talk about it tomorrow and start learning how I can better manage my feelings. Things have been very emotional for me tonight. It's almost time for bed and I would normally do it very soon. I am going to try to make it. This is really, really difficult. Wow.