To this I just wanted to add that I struggle with many of the same feelings. I've actually started an in person college course after many years of isolation and it's been triggering so much fear around being inadequate and having nothing to offer anyone. Fortunately this is something me and my T can actively work on together and she believes in my ability to offer something to people even though I can't believe it myself. This is what I hope for you...a T who understands your struggles and can proactively help you with them. I know that without my T, I couldn't do this course. Maybe if you can trust your T with some of your struggles, this can be a way forward in doing some of the stuff you feel scared about, including connecting with others. If she sees and points out your positive qualities and attributes, this can also be a way for you to learn what you might like to do with them in the future. A T's role CAN in many cases be a way to help you connect. I hope that she can be that for you, even in her distant approach. If not, I hope there may be a way to find a T who does offer that.