Well, I really hope you guys can sort through this. I do.

That said, I was with a very strong-willed, brilliant, cunning, at times incredibly loving and generous, at other times, verbally and physically abusive (to me, not kids) woman for 12 years. I loved her and I still love her. Can't help it. But she was always and continues to this day after we are over to find every possible opportunity to make critical remarks to me about me. I have never actually met someone who spoke to me the way she did/does. Ever. She is extremely impatient and I am extremely patient, so that may be part of it. Always in a hurry, hurry, hurry.

But she has made so many exceedingly hurtful comments to me over the years that I just will never forget many of them. She has a marked cruel streak in her--it's a fact. She derives pleasure from hurting others--sometimes. Clearly. She obviously has some major personality disorder traits. Just a whole lot of pain from her.

I tell you this because I actually, with this history of mine, have a bit of a different take on your story. I am worried. I hope this remark by her was just an ill-considered one-off. But if it is a pattern, if it is seeming to become one, you just need to be aware, that some people just have a bit of a hypercritical streak. Sometimes, even a cruel streak. They may try to hide it from "the public," as it can interfere with employment and so forth. In my experience, this has been ingrained into the fiber of this person's being, likely arising out of some past/childhood perhaps disasters. Who knows.

Just saying, if this continues, to me, that is a massive red flag. Doesn't matter if you love her or if she says she loves you. If she treats you like sh**, it ain't gonna work.

Wishing you the best here.