T, only 5 more sleeps and i'm not sure if i want to see you or not. i mean, i do want to. we both know this break has been too long, and at a really bad time, and email isn't enough right now. and also i don't want to. because therapy is hard, and our relationship has been fraught and rupture-y at times, and i still don't know how or what i'm feeling about the abuser's death.

it'd be nice if you try the low-key 'it's been a long time, we've missed each other, let's reconnect and ease back in slowly' approach. not the 'woot, i've had three weeks off and i'm raring to go!' approach. that one's too full-on for the first session back 'cos while you may have been off relaxing and having a great time (albeit still keeping in touch - thank you!), it's been pretty rough my end.

please just be gentle with me.