I understand your point Have Hope

Marriage honestly for me is just a paper. My relation with her is very very important, but that regardless of if we are married or not. I definitely want to have children with her, I in my mind children should come preferably in a married couple. Probably that s why.

To be single (without my gf) is something for sure I do not want. I enjoy all the time with my GF, it s hard to imagine the future without her, I have absolutely no reason to not be with her anymore.

I understand I have a problem and possibly an addiction, that I need to change and overcome this.

But I do not think we live in a prefect world, perfect couple etc

Let 's be honest, I am pretty sure plenty of married men fantasized about other women. Yes, they don't do the stuff that I do, but I really do not believe that the married men never have fantasies with other women