Someone on here brought up the topic of married men having sexual fantasies of sex with other women. My husband tells me he turned off all sexual thoughts for other women when he became committed to me. He views attractive women simply as "people" and as platonic friendships, if he has a friendship with one.

He stopped using porn for me, but I worry that he wants to use it sometimes. He knows it bothers me because it means he's imagining sex with someone else besides me.

Sometimes I feel I should have just remained strictly single and sometimes I feel I don't belong in any kind of committed relationship, including a marriage, because I have SO many hang ups... insecurities, jealousies, & fears of the worst kind of other women. I didn't used to be this way... it comes from a past of being cheated on several times and lied to outrageously by some men.

And what if my husband DOES sexually fantasize or even dream of sex with other women besides me? That thought makes me absolutely crazy. I cannot stand the thought of it, but it creeps into my mind now and again. I don't want him thinking of anyone else but me. And I know it's just not reality. Men are biologically built to have sex with many women and to want to have sex with many women.

How can monogamy even exist in our society, when we are sexual creatures with sexual fantasies? Sometimes I think monogamy is unnatural and forced.

These are my thoughts. I love my husband very very much and I cannot imagine life without him. But sometimes I really think I should have just remained single for the rest of my life. Then I wouldn't struggle with such thoughts that disturb and upset me.

And one thing that is the worst part of it all? IS that women are not built the same as men. We can be fine with monogamy and want that, and men can still want many other women, in their minds.