Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue
I really feel for you.
I'm glad you're having a better day!
Take heart. None of this is your fault.
It might be useful, though, to look at anti-bullying laws in your state. Employers, remember, have to provide a safe work environment.
Not that you are going to sue her, but it might enlighten you as to the potentially disastrous effects on mental health and family life. The law does take it seriously.
Similarly, mental health charities can give terrifying info about the dangers of bullying at work.
You still seem, if you don't mind me saying so, at the stage where you are trying to understand her. Or make yourself like her. I think in America, that's called bargaining. Or, denial. Or Stockholm Syndrome...
Sorry. I really am here to support you, and wish I could be more positive.
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Thank you for your sweetness and support!
She can be a bully but I don’t think she has done anything illegal. She is stressed, fearful, impatient, and seems to be fighting off a work-related meltdown. She is trying to problem solve to get off her rollercoaster, I think. I empathize with her. However, I’ve been riding her roller coaster, and now I don’t want to because doing so has caused me sleepless nights, a stomachache, and a headache.
I don’t want to feel like she feels on her rollercoaster—she participates in a host of opportunities to counteract her other uncomfortable feelings, and I don’t have access, time, or money to do what she does to regulate herself.
I must remember that I am my own person with my own set of skills and not just an extension of her. I’ve had codependent relationships before, so i need to be careful not to encourage or allow that type of relationship with her.
My denial—I need to remember that although she is the boss, I should not accept her obnoxious behavior and play to it, just because I need my job, or because I’m afraid to upset her. i should not appease her and give her the attention she wants so that she can calm down and feel good about herself. Not my role. I don’t need to like her, or be friends with her, I know that. I do still have a goal to understand and appreciate her, but then i must remember it’s then also good that she understand and appreciate me.
In general, I have been feeling “less than” a lot these last six months or so. Looking back, I’ve been playing to that negative belief that I am less than. That’s not going to help me.