Huh, well, I am totally clueless about all that lifestyle stuff. Know nothing about it. That said, I know a whole lot about infidelity. I am an expert, being on the victim side of the ledger repeatedly. And what I have learned is that cheating, straying, infidelity--whatever word you wish to use--there are many different kinds of it. For example, if I come home tonight and sneak a look at my GF's phone and find a bunch of steamy texts with some chick I don't know, but they have not (yet) slept together, is that cheating? If I somehow learn that my wife has been secretl texting with an ex, like, a million times, but none of it is overtly sexual, is that cheating? If my wife just gets insanely pissed at me and has a 1-night stand, but never does that every again, is that cheating, or is that just her being a frigging idiot for one night?

I think we all must come to our own personal conclusions about these things. Your husband has his own world construct and you are in it. How he views your relationship is his personal thing. I agree, you should just ask him what his view of marriage, of you two, of you and your relationships with other persons, is. Just get it out. Then, you can decide where you want to land.

I'm straight. Have had a whole bunch of GF's, one 17-year marriage, and one 12-year partnership/non-marriage. Was raised to believe those commitments were forever. What I have learned is that, although I am a Christian and took that general view of marriage (without the dated demeaning of women) for much of my life, my experiences in these relationships have taught me that actually, the Buddhists have the accurate view of relationships/partnerships/marriages. Nothing is forever. There is no such thing. Everything ends. People change. Sh** happens. Folks move on. The era of 65-year marriages, at least in the United States, is in the past. Those were different people with extremely different value sets. Noone today cares about that stuff, not in the US, anyway.

So, in my view, marriage really should not exist for most. Just my take. Noone needs to get married to have kids. And since, more often than not, again, here, anyway, marriages end before one partner dies, why not just view reality accurately. There is no such thing as forever. Maybe in America, in 1957, there used to be. But not anymore. People are all about themselves now.