Thank you! I ended up eating my food. It really calmed me down. I'm content at the moment. I don't feel too guilty because it was as healthy as I could make Mexican. Yes, the meditation really helps me. I have several apps on my phone and I do guided meditations. I usually fall asleep after or during. Sometimes my pets will come cuddle in bed with me. One good thing about this present moment is my pain is gone. Writing here helps calm me too.