thanks guys. this stuff just kinda came flooding back after i said to my t about the feeding thing. i guess... it never struck me before that it was inappropriate for her to have been still feeding me at that age. i didn't realize that other parents try and encourage their kids to take that step much earlier than that.

i found something last night on how parents view their toddlers and how that view shapes the toddlers behaviour. all kinds of things... how parents might view their toddler as 'willful' or 'seductive' or whatever. my mother characterized me as willful and defiant. i don't think... i don't think that i was particularly. at least... i remember really trying very very hard to be good with my dad. was mortified if he was upset with me. it was just that no matter what i did my mother was unhappy with me. since i was damned either way... and what kid wouldn't throw a tantrum when it wasn't allowed to take a step that was age appropriate for a kid much younger than them? my mother was always a battle like that. she didn't want me to grow up.

i remember her telling me that she had a discussion with my niece and she was getting really worried about her showing an interest in boys already (at 11). she didn't seem to realize that the interest that an 11 year old girl shows in boys is different from my mothers 16 or 18 year old interest in boys. mother was lamenting how she was growing up... growing up isn't something that my mother celebrated... she seemed to think that there was something wonderful and magical about infants... and that growth and development simply constituted pain. mostly caused by her of course. but from her perspective: inevitable. for your own good. she really should get help...