Hello,
I am nineteen years old and this problem has been with me for a very long time. At about the age of eleven, I lost my hobby and I no longer enjoy life. I felt empty, without friends. I imagined myself to be a distinguished scientist, philosopher, or leader. That made me feel important and it literally engulfed me. Gradually, I created a picture of a perfect leader in my head and tried to achieve it.
I got rid of all pleasure in my life. I started eating a little, sleeping a little, destroy relationships with my family, start exercising a lot and still working (or simply doing anything). That made me feel important. But I don't want others to recognize me. I don't even want to achieve anything.I ended up alone. I feel either empty or important when I endure a pain. Why do I constantly need to feel important? Why do I feel important in doing things that destroy me?
I actually don't know what I want in life but feel important this way...

Thank you for your answers
Pavel