Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShadow
I know many won't agree with me, but I have no hang-ups about my guy watching porn, I don't know why but I don't. I watch porn. I can't explain it, but sexual fantasies are healthy, and some people enjoy indulging in fantasies on their own or together as a couple. Monogamy, in my opinion, is only unnatural or forced when each person in the couple makes the other person deny the thing that comes to them most naturally, their fantasies. I feel like telling my significant other to only think of me in his mind is crossing a line I shouldn't cross.
I could be dead wrong here, but for me, my fantasies and some of the things that turn me on don't revolve around my partner - and I think that's healthy. I am 100% present with him the bedroom and when he is lying next to me - but sometimes in my alone time? I may dabble in some erotica and porn.
Maybe I'm just different?
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That’s fine for you and I can respect and appreciate that. Not for me. Many women have issues with their husband or partner watching porn. It's not uncommon. My husband is the one who initiated telling me he stopped thinking of other women is sexual ways. I didn't ask that of him. I only asked him to not watch porn, out of respect for me because I detest it, I find it degrading to women and feel it objectifies women and can influence an intimate relationship negatively.
And there's a huge difference to me between sexual fantasy in terms of concepts and ideas, and actually fantasizing about a specific person one sees or comes across, in real life or on the internet. For me, having fantasies of sex with other people other than your spouse is similar to cheating. I have read a book written by a psychologist who said the same exact thing: that it is a form of cheating. So I personally do not agree with fantasizing about sex with someone else. Why be married? Why be monogamous? Why not be single and have sex with whomever one pleases, if one is going to fantasize about sex with other people? I don't see the point of marriage otherwise. Or of committing to monogamy. Maybe it's not purely "natural" because we are sexual creatures and perhaps monogamy is not entirely natural either, but we certainly can have control over our thoughts, including our sexual thoughts. Some people may disagree with me on this, but I have very strong opinions on this issue, and that is my stance.