And yes, it's a sensitive topic. I happen to believe my husband when he tells me he turned off sexual thoughts towards other women. He is COMMITTED to me in every way. I am not fooling myself, and he is not lying to me. Some men are devoted in this way to their wives, to let you know. Not all men all meandering and philandering.

You are weighing sexual cheating against emotional neglect? You're saying that cheating 20 times is better than emotional neglect? How do you know what damage this would truly cause to your fiance IF she knew the full truth of the matter? If she knew you went to call girls? How would she feel? Horrible is my guess, and horrifically betrayed. No, this is not better than emotional neglect... it's just as bad and just as damaging. My guess is it would impact her self-esteem deeply. She may think "what am I missing that he needs to go to prostitutes for?" She may feel totally inadequate as a result. But again, you're not thinking of her, you're minimizing the impact this could have on a person.

You do need to see a therapist or a professional for help with this. I am sorry you felt judged. Like I wrote above, we are not professionals... this is strictly a peer support forum. You're going to receive strong opinions on the issue of cheating and marriage on here, and initially you asked what people thought, which invites opinions. Many believe in monogamy, and many people embrace commitment in marriage. Many are married and find the issue of cheating and dishonesty morally offensive and reprehensible.

Best of luck to you with this. I mean that sincerely. I hope things work out for you.