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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967
Today was rough. Lots of crying and panic attacks privately. Seeing my aunts just reminded me of the person I no longer am and brought up memories of a different life. To finish it off, I have a rare night off and I’m about to fall asleep. I had so many plans for tonight but today took an emotional toll and I’m exhausted. At least I see M tomorrow. I’m holding on to that.
Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.  |
I am sorry you are having a rough time, Jennifer. Sounds like the thing with your aunt was fairly triggering. So sorry about that. I definitely can relate. I saw a young either RN or MD, early 30s, with 2 adorable little kids shopping in Safeway yesterday and it made me quite sad. Just brought back all this stuff from younger days. It was hard. I relate. Sorry.
When I have days like you have, where you realize you are not going to be doing what you wanted to do for the evening, I have to take a step back and say: Okay. This is not good. Not what I wanted. But this is my reality tonight. That other stuff will not be happening. Something else will. My desires are conflicting with the universe. Do I want to fight the universe and be miserable, or should I try to accept it and find peace?
So, anyway, that's what I try to do. It's sort of a Buddhist take on non-attachment. Maybe something like that will help you next time.
Be well--