This year has started with great frustration. To begin with a general state of anxiety has returned. Some days have been bad. My hip just won't get better so I haven't been able to get to the beach. Hopefully another week of short walks and exercises will give me the strength to walk on the sand so I can swim. My budget is so bad I can't afford the pool, and I would need to buy new bathers. On top of this my body and mind are wiped with exhaustion. A Fibromyalgia flare up. Probably from all the stress of my recent hospitalisation.

With all this I haven't been able to do much. I sleep a lot, although sometimes have insomnia. I read when I can. Play guitar. Organise my flat. Meditate, and generally try to keep a positive attitude to push away the negative thoughts. And I weep for my country as much of it burns as bushfires rage, although not in my city. We have bushfires each summer, big ones, but this is unbelievable. I try to keep away from the news now. I am too emotionally fragile at the moment. In fact so many things make me tear up right now. It is so confusing now what happened to get me out of hospital on the 27th December. I thought I had made significant progress, but it seems I am still a mess. Not needing hospital, just not my calm, happy self.