Hey. So I don’t think I’m actually bipolar.
Previous pdoc dx me as bp2 but current one said recurrent depression and anxiety.

Anyway, have been feeling pretty fantastic lately. Big change from the depressive funk I have been stuck in. Did a.crazy cleaning and reorganizing of my house. Put away Xmas, vacuumed, dishes, laundry, errands. Finally feel motivated to complete all the stuff I couldn’t force myself to do while depressed.

But while having a phone fight w my ex bf, he kept telling me to slow down, and the whole thing was infuriating and took all my will to shut up. He is a sociopath which I had temporarily forgotten. Or maybe I knew but was feeling randy. The phone call and his crazy reminded me.

I had to listen to some really loud angry music to calm down after the convo. It was rough. Crawling out of my skin. Some RATM calmed me some. Finally got myself to turn off music and finish school work. Then went to bed, wrote a lot in my journal ranting about the ex. And my heart feels sort of racy like I can’t get enough air. According to my watch, tho, heart rate is normal.
Yet I feel pretty great otherwise. Invincible. But not sleeping. I tried the calm app but couldn’t pay attention to the story. So came in here.

Maybe I’m just stressed out. Triggered by my crazy ex bf and his mental abuse.
I made an appt to work out tomorrow at gym , box some, to get out my angst. I feel like that was a healthy thing to do.
Rational. I’m just too keyed up to sleep but I feel a bit like my body has run out of steam. Idk. I take medication (AD and lamictal) but don’t think it does anything anymore. Sorry for this long novel which is provably pretty pointless but I feel like I need somebody to talk to and this seemed like a close secnd.