Okay, so that super-bizarre date was with the vomit queen, that makes more sense. You won't have pleasant dates with people who have so little respect for anything, including themselves, as those you are describing. Please don't let those experiences crush your hope. Not all people are like that.

Be prepared when you start researching transhumanism, it's disgusting. It's basically a modern and high-tech version of eugenics.

Most of us here on PC have struggles with low self-esteem and feeling below everyone around us. It's a big part of our depression and anxiety.

Concerns over STIs are well-founded, especially where you live. But if it has grown to fear of such a degree that you have a panic attack over the thought of even a kiss, that's something that needs to be addressed with a professional. If that's inaccessible here, maybe you can take care of that when you study abroad. American universities offer free counseling services to their students, I'm not sure about those in Europe.

Yet another reason Scotland is awesome!

I'm so very sorry that your self-confidence has taken such a hit. Please don't hesitate to reach out to this supportive community on PC. You are a compassionate, intelligent, likeable, and conscientious person who will be a great doctor. I certainly don't want to intrude, but was it bashing from family members that took you down so far? I totally get that analogy and have been there many times too. A lot of people have trouble over the holiday season; you are most certainly not alone in that.

Do you find meaningful connections at campaign events for your chosen candidate? Working together for a common goal, even if no personal friendships form, helps ease the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. I've found this in events for my candidate. Primary elections start very soon, so things will pick up and most candidates will need all hands on deck. Even aside from that, you are a valued member of PC.