I'd just like to add that I think it's really good insight that you might be self-destructive in more ways than cutting. I find that I sabotage myself in other ways too. It's hard to learn to love yourself and take good care of yourself when you hate yourself. I hope you have a therapist to help you change that. It doesn't change all at once usually, but you can take baby steps. You do deserve to be successful and to like yourself and to have friends and the things you want in life.