My Support Forums - View Single Post - I think i’m going crazy and i honestly don’t know what to do

grape · 12:00 PM

i’m extremely new to this site so i don’t know how it works but i need some sort of help or start to understand what’s wrong with me

yes, no joke, i feel like i’m going crazy. It’s honestly extremely hard to explain but i need help so i’ll try to sum it up
i’ve been having this feeling of something in me, my head. a sort of presence not like it’s actually talking to me so not schizophrenia but it’s like something is there, similar to the feeling of having a thought at the back of your head or a phrase on the tip of your tongue. and said presence stays. the “thing” comes and kind of takes over? it’s not the right word for it but i don’t know what to say. if i’m very angry, sad or just chilling it just comes and i feel out of control, my mind and body is fighting for rationality an example of this would be

Possible trigger:

one instance where i picked up a large knife and kept it next to me when i was angry. i knew i wasn’t being “me” because i had this feeling and that’s when i know the “thing” is kinda in controli would laugh out of control or cry
there was a huge chance i was going to harm myself or someone if they came near me while i was like this

and when i try to think back at these instances the memory feels patchy
like i don’t exactly remember it but i also do at the same time. i was a different person
it makes me feel crazy
now i’m rational i know it’s ****ed up
but when it happens i’m not like this
i feel like i’m watching it happen but i’m an outsider when i try to remember it
i cant go to therapy or doctors because my parents would probably not believe what i’m saying
any sort of help would be appreciated