I go in phases too. There are weeks or months at a time when I cut or used pins or something every time I got mad, or just to try to fill up the feelings of emptiness. Sometimes I would go months or years in between without cutting, sometimes because I was too scared to cut because I was too depressed, or I was too numb to care.

Now I only cut maybe 2-3 times per year. But I'm getting into head banging again. Still, not really often. I only get unbearably frustrated like that when I feel pushed past my limits, and that might happen a few times in a row for a while, so it still comes in clusters. It's not all the time though. And I never have felt particularly bad about hurting myself afterwards. Sometimes embarassed after the really big ones. I know I need to stop though. I have to set a better example for my kids, my clients, etc. - people that I hope to be able to teach how to cope in a better way. And I can't teach them if I can't learn myself. I do feel bad about that.