Responding to both posts here.

I think most humans have a psychological need to believe that the universe is ruled by a system of justice. Some people, like the Social Darwinists you have to endure on a daily basis, believe that stark inequality is just. Others see that as the injustice it is and believe in something along the lines of karma or heaven/hell. I personally don't think it's helpful to think of personal reward for good done. The benefit to those helped by the good deed is the reward.

Getting out of that toxic environment will be a very good thing for you, Lundi. If the people you do meetups and other things with, and that extended family, are poisoning your efforts at becoming well, then stepping away from them will give you the chance to heal. You won't be assaulted with the daily realities of such inequality and injustice. You'll be able to see direct evidence that other ways of life are possible.

Betazed must be a wonderful planet. It sucks to be a human on Earth right now.

I totally understand how you feel about trying new things with no better results. I'm 35 and still trying to find my place, still single, still no friends, still trapped in a job I hate. It's very frustrating when I've tried so many things in so many different times and places and situations and nothing has worked. stagnation leads to decay. I'm working towards wellness but some external situations have to change too. I'm keeping my eyes out for any opportunity. Hopelessness is a hard battle to fight, but please be assured that you aren't fighting it alone. The people on PC are with you and know how you feel.

Depression and anxiety eat up a person's physical and mental resources. Concentration on anything but the pain becomes nearly impossible. Those are deeply concerning blood pressure numbers, especially when you are on meds for it. I'm no fan of psychiatric meds in most cases, but sometimes they are necessary to break the cycle. It might be a good idea to talk to your primary about this.