I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles and that you're unhappy with your life (I am too). What it looks like to me is (and maybe I'm wrong) that the relationship with your wife is, in a way, similar to the one with your mom, which is the case a lot of the time with our partners/bfs/gfs/etc. It's good you agreed to try therapy together and I hope it goes well for you both. But even if it doesn't, you should know you're strong enough to do whatever you want in your life and you deserve to be happy, with or without your wife and/or your current job. It's never too late to change things up in whatever area of your life.