Yes, Social Darwinists have a contrary view to the karmists. The karmists believe that what one does badly could lead to later surprisingly have hardship, such as a guy who makes fun of single men later experiences that his girlfriend or wife leaves him and that no other women want to have anything to do with him. He may ask himself why this is happening, until he realises that a few years ago he had been making fun of single guys for being in his own lonely situation. A Social Darwinist would make fun of single guys and then feel entitled to not be in the same position as they are, since a Social Darwinist by nature believes that he is "superior" and that all the women whom he desires will fall into his lap.

At meetups the types of people whom I encounter are downright bizarre in my own view, but apparently others find them somewhat normal. A lot though, like my own meetup acquaintance who is from Minnesota, has repeatedly said that people here are seriously deluded and judgemental. No wonder he has decided to permanently leave this city and relocate to New York City.

I find it terrible that I have to avoid extended family. I had already severed ties more or less with my father's extended family, who believes in 1800s-style gender relations and that I basically am a failure of a man due to not even being married at 30, but being single and virgin at such an old age is apparently considered abominable. I am already branded as "gay", "asexual", "retarded", "mentally insane", and other names because of my failure to attract women. But now I feel like I have to completely sever ties with my mother's extended family. This latter group often hate not only me but also my mother. Other than near before Christmas, I remember when I had attended a big family gathering of my mother's side of the family when I was 24. Relatives would come up to me and ask questions like, "Hey, boy, where ya girlfriend?" and one relative who was sitting at a table got up and said to me after giggling like a child, "Hey...we been talking about you a lot. So what is it, you married? Where is your girlfriend?" I am effectively the joke of the family on both sides. What is the point of family if they act worse than strangers. If I had to sever ties with all family except my parents, then it makes sense. It looks bad that I sever ties with also my godparents, but it is what it is. I am basically a pariah not only at meetups but in the family.

I am not sure why, but despite your being five years older than I am, I would consider you young, but I would consider myself old. I may be falling into the trap of comparing myself with others again, because I feel that you have better life experience with relationships and that stuff compared to me. I have as much relationship experience that I had when I was 10 years old--that is to say, none. I just feel so ******* stuck in a rut, and nothing I do seems to alleviate the situation. I have tried almost 20 different dating apps and sites, and all have been failures. I feel like I am in a rigged game. An analogy would be like playing Blackjack at the casino, yet every other player has prior knowledge about what cards will be dealt next. I have a sinking feeling since I am now almost 30 and ¼ years old, and I seem to be as stuck as when I was 29.

I also have no friends, no girlfriend, terrible occupation, and definitely not where I want to be in life right now. I keep trying to find a way to think positive, but I often feel that the hopelessness stems from the feeling that nothing is coming to fruition.

I had made another thread, I think in the Autism and Asperger's Syndrome section, if any female members wanted to evaluate a portrait photo of my face that I use as a profile picture on social media. I was wondering if I really am that ugly, if I am not that ugly or if I looked even worse than I thought. It is the only photo in which I am smiling since I forced myself to smile.

I sometimes talk to my mother about this, and my grandmother occasionally when she was alive, but never with my father or grandfather. My grandfather has had dementia and Alzheimer's for most of my life, so it would probably not have been plausible anyway. But my father is an alpha male type--the type that belittles me for being single this long. I have on occasion received comments about how no woman would want someone like me, comments of the type "Look in the mirror. You think that any girl would enjoy seeing that?", that my awkwardness and mental problems indicates that I deserve to be committed to a mental institution, etc. It has not helped my self-esteem. So if anything, I end up talking with my mother about this.

I think that this depression and obsession with this same topic is causing more problems with stress. Almost every 50 seconds of each minute that I am awake now I think about it. My thought process is, "I am probably going to end up single for life" interchanging with, "What is the point of my existence? To suffer constantly?".

The stress is most likely causing my blood pressure to stay elevated. It is not as bad as when I was 25, when my blood pressure was reaching soaring numbers that often frightened me. In 2014-2015, my blood pressure was regularly giving high readings between 180/80 and 205/100. The constant thinking of being single and lonely destroyed me.