This is how your father was with you, needing YOU to suffer when you did not measure up to HIS expectations.

Perhaps it's better to remove the word revenge. Perhaps it's better to think about it as "overcoming" experiencing a toxic person by putting more effort into focusing on yourself more and doing things that make YOU happy.

I struggle with complex ptsd too and I know the anger that develops.

There tends to be a lot of cognitive disonance that presents with ptsd. In your case you have this resentment about her and you lack confidence in yourself at the same time. When the brain has these two dynamics happening, the frontal lobe struggles to move forward and engage.

I happen to sit and watch a biography of an actress, her name was Aster, not sure of the spelling and she started in silent films and she was really a beautiful child and young teen and even adult. She had an extremly controlling father that literally used her to be his cash cow. He was extremely controlling over her and she did not have any friends. She finally broke away from her parents who could no longer live their lavish lifestyle without the money they made her pay all to them. They even actually sued her and ended up having to agree on getting a small allowence from her instead of them taking her money and only giving her a small allowence.

Anyway, she tended to end up with controlling men and one of these men she had a child with and he did not make her happy and he cheated and she cheated. Well, she always kept a diary from when she was very young. It was only true outlet for her throughts, became a friend to share her throughts and feelings with. He found her diaries and threatened to use what she wrote against her if she did not give him full custody and the house and money. She agreed at first and then decided to fight him for custody of her child. It played out in court and made headlines which back then was not wanted by major Hollywood studios that tended to keep tight control over all their stars so they would maintain the illusion they portrayed onscreen.

During the trail she was also in a movie which is one of the best parts she ever acted in. What she did to help her maintain herself all through this court battle was she used the charactor from the part she played. She would slip into that character and be that character and that helped her navigate through all that messy court battle. And she ended up winning custody of her child.

The reason I am telling you about this is because this is what you should work on too. You should develop a person within yourself that becomes stronger than the presence your father created in you. There is actually a therapy that teaches this, and this new presence becomes your "wise mind" that keeps growing stronger than the father part in you that you continue to follow along with. This is what the actress Aster did, she stepped into the character she was playing that was wise and calm and poised. This helped her distance from the problems her father created in her that is similar to what you experienced. This is what I mean by "overcome" verses "revenge".