@MrsA I have a few hobbies -- web development (learning to make websites) and learning languages, but I've lost all interest in it lately,. I've tried to just sit down and dabble but I can't even seem to do that right now. I've made some decisions I've instantly regretted in this time frame so I know what you mean about relying on logic -- it's something I need to work on more.

@whatever2013 You're right -- there is very little to do in my town. I'm trying my best not to isolate but even at work I find myself trying to stray away from conversation.I dyed my hair brown. Sadly as much has I hate my red hair, it still shows through so my hair is more like brownish-red than true brown, but definitely darker than my natural color which I like. Work does suck but I do keep telling myself that very same thing ... I should be grateful for what I have, because it could be 10000x worse.


Pookyl mentioned stability, which is a weird concept for me right now. I don't know how to convey what I mean by that -- but I'm walking a line between impulsive and in control at times. Decision making is a bit rash and I've made some mistakes these past few days.