I COMPLETELY agree with @SlumberKitty! Please do get some help. Ask to see a Doctor. Tell your Parents that you're not feeling well lately - you don't need to give out any details. Besides, it is your right to ask for help if you feel like you need it. If your parents still won't take you there, can you ask for help to others? Friends you trust or other relatives, for example. Please, watever you do, seek help, as this seems REALLY serious! It is an hard step to take but it's the right thing to do. Of course, contact an Hospital if you feel like you're going to hurt yourself or others! You Safety and Other People's Safety must be the PRIORITY! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @grape, your Family, your Friends, your Relatives, your Therapists, your Doctors, your Brothers, Your Sisters, your Uncles, your Cousins, your Nephews your Pdocs, your General Doctors, your Nurses and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!