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IceCreamKid
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Member Since Jan 2011
Location: Australia
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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 08:15 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss P View Post
I'm hooked....very long story cut short, I have known and been with a guy over 20 years. I know he's no good for me. We fight, split, come back together, and repeat for all eternity. My friends and family all say, keep/get the hell away.

I'm a fool, I love him. I say I'll leave, but I never do, I never go, or end it. Anyone relate? Yup, I know, it's a ludicrous, crazy situation. I can't live with or without.

....Am I the only one?
Are you the only one who has tied him or herself to an abusive person? Certainly not. However, what is it you actually love about this person? Can you name whatever those qualities/characteristics are? Charming handsome a good dancer an excellent provider good in bed etc etc etc. Because chances are that all of those characteristics and qualities are to be found in someone else who also will not fight with you. The other thing to consider is that you get something out of fighting that other people would not. Maybe that is how you learned to resolve conflict, maybe that is how you learned to express aggression? I was married to an abusive person who -- after we were divorced blithely admitted to me that (this is what he held in his heart) 'it was okay to be abusive to family--because you couldn't be abusive to people outside the family.'

You're not alone in your battling couples situation--but people in the peaceful fulfilling relationships are not alone either. Which group would you rather join?
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Miss P