Ugh, I'm sorry about your T being ill, Lonely. And I understand what you're feeling about the wedding. My T hadn't worn his wedding ring in like 9 months, then suddenly started wearing it again last week (well, he didn't have it on a couple days ago), and it had some weird effect on me. I guess I'd made assumptions that he was separated or divorced or at least struggling in his marriage. I felt maybe it helped explain why he seemed different over the summer (was harsher to me about certain things, which led to me terminating for a bit--I'd thought maybe a countertransference thing, since one of the things was about my threatening to leave).


His having his ring back on suddenly almost felt like a betrayal or something. Talking about all of it with him, though scary, helped. Including the various explanations I'd come up with. And I also admitted to him that I felt maybe if he was separated or divorced, that maybe he was a bit lonely, so talking to a female around his age (me) might have more meaning to him (I confirmed that I didn't mean romantically). And he means so much to me, that it helped to think maybe I was giving him something besides money. He was very understanding of that as well, and it led to a good discussion about my desire to feel important to people in my life.


So I definitely suggest talking to your T. If it can't be before the wedding, then after.