Perhaps the single biggest breakthrough I have ever made overall, in terms of tools, I guess, was when my brilliant teacher pointed out to me that my once-boss, who discriminated horrifically against me once I had to go IP and my diagnoses (bp1/addiction) came out, was not my problem. My problem was actually me. He was simply and merely beign exactly and perfectly who he was and is. My refusal to recognize that desiring him to be compassionate, understanding, eveolved, and humane about my experience was the true cause of my pain was, in fact, the only problem.

I thought that was quite possibly the craziest thing I had ever heard. The guy was a big fat jerk! I went home and thought hard about it. Turned it around. And then, suddenly, it just hit me. The teacher was right! My boss was just being the person he is. He is who he is. My wishing him to be otherwise was causing me stress, pain, and anguish, because my (faulty) belief was opposing reality. I started laughing. It was suddenly funny. Why hadn't this occurred to me before?

So anyway, this is the most useful tool I have. It is kind of an old Buddhsit "trick" and, while I am a Christian through and through, I do find some of the secular aspects of Buddhist writings to be fascinating and often extremely useful to me. So, I use them.