Quote:
Originally Posted by Paper Roses
Trisha
I've heard good and bad about McGregor. What does she say?
I've wondered if my accepting attitude contributed to my kids selfishness.
I think they made have been the type of new souls in need of a strong hand.
I do know that loving and understanding is not wrong. It might have been worse had they not had the love that we gave them.
I was not a very good father. I was a wonderful mother. I was a one woman band. Due to my abusive childhood I had no extended family support. Some children might be appreciative of a mother who was so alone but loved and provided so much more than she ever received. Mine are not.
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It’s really interesting how she takes the reader through the stages she went through. The shock, anger, then the ruminating about what she did to cause it. We all do this.
She said one thing that struck a nerve with me; that the emotional state of the mother can affect the development of the child. She thinks she had some issue with this. I had an issue with this too. When I first came on PC it was for a problem with this between me and my husband, me and my mother— never between me and my children... but I suppose it did affect them after all. BUT— This was not the reason my son gave for how he has been hurtful. In fact, we discussed my emotional issues with them and said how it has nothing to do with them and we love them very much, and they seem pretty ok with that. In looking to blame myself, this issue is really all I have that I am truly guilty for.
The author says she did not know the reason in her case, wasn’t given a reason, really didn’t do anything to cause it and that is the general consensus of good parents who don’t deserve to become estranged but are getting this treatment from their grown children.
I’m happy to report that what happened with my husband, me, and our son was a rift caused by treatment we have received from him and his now wife. We didn’t give in and go along, were quite vocal about it...I’m no go-along!
He’s furious with us. We know why. I have been steadily reaching out with love and forgiveness. Today we did exchange a text and I feel really good and hopeful about that being a move in the right direction, albeit a long haul, I expect.
