Seeing my T today helped me tremendously. Just sitting in his dusty ole office helps..

We discussed at length the whole issue of being a parent and feeling unwanted/unneeded. ( he feels the same with his 2 daughters) Of course it’s natural and even tho I knew it at the time... things still really ripped me up emotionally.

Right now I honestly don’t want to go to Floriduh anymore. It’s just too distressing for me. Of course that might change as time passes. But today I do not want to go anymore and that gives me a feeling of power.

I need to work on my feelings of self worth and not feeling like a burden. These are things that I struggle with often. We both agree that it’s unlikely I’ll ever “ fix “ that part of me. Will just be a life long fixture in my life and I’ll need to attend to it as needed.

I still do feel a sadness altho not as strong thankfully

My breathing is still not right .... improved but not yet back to my Pre Humira fiasco. I do hope my Rheumatologist will go ahead with a new medication and for all things holy do tons of injections in my finger joints ! The pain is freaking terrible !

Hugs and a huge veggie plate to share ~