I also have been looking at my genealogy. I actually broke some of the negative patterns. It's not easy the patterns are long and deeply ingrained. This is what my book is about.

I have seen character traits skip generations. My mother and my daughter both married repeatedly. Not twice but in my mother's case 5 times. My daughter four. Looking for Mr. Goodyear.

My granddaughter is more like me. She is reserved and does not act out. She is nothing like my daughter, her mother. I'm not much like my mother. As I said my mother saw my children rarely and they were not close. My daughter does not even know the details of her life.

I believe it is both structural, role modeling and spiritual. By structural I mean brain structure. If we can resemble others physically then so too can our brains. Brains vary a lot and some have less capacity for empathy than others and chemical makeup also effects empathy.

T h ere is a Ted talk that explains lot. The speakers name is
James Fallon, like the late night host. He is a neuroscientist who studied the brains of killers. He discovered something very strange. If you can find it it's very interesting. If you have any trouble finding it and you want to see it let me know.

Good to know that you are focused on your happiness. Some people have an abundance of empathy and forget to include sell.
I'm working ok raking on caring more for me. I even tell myself
"Good job" and other affirmations. It works.

Thanks for your post.