thanks all!

the one thing I can't explain - it's something I will never be able to bring up to anyone, and will avoid the topic at all costs. so I'm just going with the idea, 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'! things still work - not 100% but still function. and I'm fine as long as things aren't organ or body or life threatening, and they aren't for now.

the other thing is I live in a rural area. it's at least 120 miles to the nearest 'big cities' for these specialty clinics and programs! the exhaustion and frustration that creates is incredibly overwhelming at times.

there is one other thing I've noticed that I'm still debating about what to do about it. I wish my aunt was still here so I could talk to her.....