My wife and I have been married for 12+ years, together for a total of 16. Two amazing kids, ages 6 and 8. We very rarely fight, can't think of any significant parenting or financial conflicts, but we also never have the hard discussions and walk around a lot of the times on eggshells around each other. From my perspective the magic is gone. We haven't been intimate in a year and a half and even before that it was once or twice a year at most. For me, it isn't a medical issue because I am attracted to other women and fantasize about them, but have never crossed a line. The other day I told her sometimes I feel that we have stayed married only because we love our kids.

We agreed that we should go to therapy but I don't know what I want to get out of it. I'm unhappy and do not feel physically attracted to her anymore (she stays in shape but just isn't my physical type anymore). I'm no great catch or anything and am not necessarily looking for someone "better" but I am feeling the urge for something different.

As I type this I'm not exactly sure what the question I'm asking is or what kind of advice I'm looking for. I'm not a bad guy and can't stomach the idea of telling her I'm not physically attracted to her anymore and despite that I love our family unit, I am unhappy in general with our marriage.

I've been thinking about things too much lately and honestly if she told me she was interested in separating, I don't think I'd have a problem with it. I'm afraid what it would do to the kids but my selfish reaction would be, "ok, let's figure that out.."

Thanks in advance for any thoughts, whatever they may be.