Hi @Thunder Bow. Thanks for your response! Ok, I am just embarrassed that my brain makes such cliché connections. Does that mean I'm really simple minded?

Ok, those clichés are definitely insights. Yes, I am dependent on others still in my life. Caregiving for my mother for a year completely threw my life into chaos; no job, no income, no stable shelter after transitioning her to a nursing home this summer. I'm definitely not getting what I want from my current roommate who hides in her bedroom 5+ months with me as her roommate (and going on 5+ years for the rest of her family and friends). I do feel like a prisoner of my circumstances; I do feel like I am being controlled by others (career counselor of the dislocated workers program is supposed to help me find a job), the career workforce solutions centers (I have to take classes there to maintain my unemployment benefits until the middle of May when the funds will be depleted and not renewed by the gov't), and my grad school professor who lowballed my course grade, thus ending my participation in my grad school program (no financial aid is available when you can't pass your courses).

I am afraid to move out on my own because I literally can't do that. I have no savings and no income. Just unemployment. So, moving out on my own is not a viable option for me right now, unless I want to sleep in a bed in a shelter when one is available.

I wonder why I dreamt about it, if I already am aware of the constraints and restrictions preventing me from renting my own place. No job = no income. No income = no ability to pay rent.

Like, this week I paid auto insurance so that leaves me $70 until my next UI deposit. Then next week, my cellphone bill is auto-deducted so that will leave me $50 to use for 7 days until my next UI deposit. Then after that week, I have a car payment, which is more than my weekly UI amount.

And I have a BA and MA yet I can't find a full-time job, have no savings, or job prospects other than an internship (non-paid) that I interviewed for today that is 3 months long.

I had no idea that caregiving for my dementia-laiden mother would literally derail my life the way that it has. It really stinks. I mean, I'm not the only adult child whose life got derailed while caregiving for their elderly parent.

I belong to another forum where all day long, other adults my age or older, lament online about how ****ed up their lives became so that they could care for their ageing parent who had a stroke or heart attack on top of having dementia; how they struggle to live because of the lack of resources available to them (jobs, savings, social network). It's almost as if, if you choose to take care of your ageing parent, you are essentially agreeing to derail your own life if you don't have safety nets (financials, place to live) in place. And, I made assumptions that didn't pan out about those two things (financials, and a place to live).

Ugh. Dreams.