Quote:
Originally Posted by Forgetmenot07
Yes of course I tell them what I want. I came with a very clear agenda but it seems that I wanted to avoid a lot and only discuss certain aspects of my life. With time sticking to the orginal issues seem impossible because other things surface all the time. I don't know maybe it's the way my therapy is going that makes me think he is not sure what we are both doing at the moment.
As for the question about them being smart. Do you think T never needs validation from clients?
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Emotional validation? I doubt it.
I'm not even sure validation is the word I would use. Validation sort of connotes pats on the back or high fives or compliments somewhat to me. I honestly doubt that kind of validation really mattered to them. I think "validation" for them was when I was making some progress in some way (better communication, finding insight, maybe managing my symptoms in healthier ways, etc.). That validated that they were at least on the right track - results matter. (As a teacher, the best validation is when I see the light bulbs go on for my students, when they are pleased with themselves because they get it or see their improvement, etc. Sure, I get students who will give compliments directly, but the bottom line is that my teaching is getting through in some way to my students because that is my job.)
I do think they need feedback, and mine asked for it and encouraged my feedback. It was an understanding between us that if something felt off, if I didn't agree with something, if I needed something that wasn't happening, I should bring that up. How else were they to know if they needed to make adjustments, if their take on what was going on with me jived with my feelings about things, etc.?