Maybe do not talk to her about anyone your dating across the board. You do not have to share that part of your personal life with your mom.

You need to learn boundaries, I know this has been a struggle for you in the past ... do you see a T that can really explain how to make boundaries and to keep them up. You simply do not have to spend all your days off with her no matter what guilt she may throw your way. You are an adult.

If you feel you must find an excuse you can try a few below...

If your 20 mins late you can pass it off as “ sorry, I had to use the bathroom “ or “ as I was headed over I remembered I had to grab a couple things from the store, I had a friend that always had a bag of some canned goods in her truck in case her mom or dad got panties in a twist , she had troubles with boundaries.

Maybe to make her feel a bit special so she knows you love her.... so your off on days X and Z call her days before and tell her you’d like to have a shared meal as in you cook X item she cook something else. At least that way you can visit and have something to do together but also you can after a while say , well let’s get this stuff cleaned up I have somethings I need to finish at home today.

Boundaries are very hard but once they are in place life sure gets easier