Thank you for having the courage to share your experiences with us. It is possible that you are experiencing a resurgence in major depressive disorder, as well as other psychiatric problems. A lot of the symptoms you describe are symptoms that I experienced as well, before I left work some months ago on mental health leave.

It's very good that you recognize some of your actions, thoughts, and feelings towards others may not be good. Being mad all the time is a symptom of depression in some cases, and can lead to outbursts like yours at your children ot while at work.

I think you should see a psychiatrist, if you aren't already and are able to do so. You don't say whether you're currently taking any medications; if not, the right one can make a huge difference in terms of your ability to function. If you are unable to function at work, and there's no shame in that, then there may be programs where you live (state, etc.) that could provide income assistance if/when you need to take off work