You’ve been through quite a bit of trauma in your life. I think it would be normal to have some ongoing sadness or depression as a result of that, especially considering new issues that have arisen in recent years. I struggle with this too. I’ve only just recently acknowledged to myself that it’s truly a problem for me and affects all areas of my life. It sounds like you’re ahead of the game if you recognize it. Best of luck to you. I hope you’re able to get help and support.