my ex broke up with me nov2018. saying that he nor I are in the right place to be in a relationship. I was finishing school and working on my mental health and alcohol abuse.

I got triggered into a depression sunday bc I saw that his new girl and he started dating 2 months after me. I asked if he knew her while we were dating and he said no. it just happened.

I asked. he loves her.

Im still in love with him. or am I making it up? I see myself married with him etc

I told him I love him still. . he said " I love you too...know that im not saying no or not you or never or any of that. im just trying to give the same respect to my relationship as I want from all my relationships"

such a diplomatic answer. he is such a good guy. and that hope is killing me.

first time we spoke in months.

I couldn't even think of another man. I rushed into a relationship 6 months after we broke up. and now live with my bf. my loving bf. and I feel guilty. guess we are both with our rebounds?

I have a gut feeling hes gonna marry her. his friends just got engaged. his other friends are having a baby. hes about to buy a house. he just got a puppy. everything is going for him. but i want it to be with me. (im 30 and 33)

My bf sees my depression. hes bipolar so he understands. but I cant talk to him about it/why. he made me go to group therapy and I see my pcp on Monday. my therapist in feb.

I bought liquor and my bf made me feel so bad about it. I just wanted to drink and sleep. I still drink but binging is behind me. maybe a couple drinks on the weekend now.

I feel heart broken all over again. thoughts of suicide those first couple days after finding out. went away then came back.

i feel crazy. i feel lost. overwhelmed.

I have my **** together, why not me? I finished school. have one job not three anymore. getting a puppy. starting to be physically healthier.

im not good enough. i was trying so hard while we where together. and he acknowledged that. but it wasn't good enough. im not good enough.

all the while sleeping in a bed with someone else while these thoughts race.