Hello UnhappyDad: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

I don't know as there is a lot I can tell you with regard to your relationship concerns. I'm 71. And there has been no intimacy in my marital relationship literally in decades. (It's a long story.) Plus, growing up, that's simply the way any marital relationships I was aware of were.

I had an uncle who used to say his wife was "dead from the arse both ways!" My father often, over the years, complained bitterly (in my presence) about my mother's lack of interest in physical intimacy. So, at least to me, what you describe is simply the way marriages go over time. But, of course, times change & peoples' expectations change as well.

You mentioned the idea of therapy but noted you don't know what you want to get out of it. Here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of couples / marriage counseling:

Couples and Marriage Counseling

7 Reasons to Seek Marriage Counseling

15 Goals of Couples Therapy

How to Prepare for Couples Therapy

3 Skills Taught in Couples Therapy That All Couples Can Benefit From

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-comm...uples-therapy/

One thing you didn't mention in your post was your age. However I thought I would also include these 3 links to articles on the subject of the male mid-life crisis plus one on depression in men:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-mal...-crisis/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-m...actical-guide/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/midlife...-and-families/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-dep...sters-for-men/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.