I have a former boss who also really did a number on me and I was angry for a long time. But it just takes too much energy to stay mad forever. I'd rather feel good.

I have learned that, for me anyway, my expectation or want or desire for other people to treat me with respect and dignity is actually not a reasonable desire. The reason is that so many people out there are jerks. Your former employer is not and was not your problem. In my way of thinking, your problem is your desire that what happened should not have happened. But it di. It happened. And your employer was just being exactly who she is. She is a jerk. That is factual information. Why should she behave differently than her nature? That's like asking a rattlesnake you accidentally step on not to strike. It is not a reasonable expectation. Or a rose not to bloom in June?

So anyhow, what I do in these situations is just remind myself whenever I start shoulding that for me, that is the road to nowhere. Accepting people for who they really are is the path to peace. Just my take. Once I remember this, I always feel much better. Not everyone on this planet is a good person. I accept that.