M/28/USA, contrary to common belief.

Apparently, the most common comorbid disorder with Bipolar is Substance Abuse.

I am a drug addict, a gambling addict and a porn addict.

I am on probation for a violent felony that I lucky am getting dismissed in June because of my disorder, and because I am following probation orders (for the most part).

Today I just blew my savings gambling. I haven't been so down while medicated before. What really hurts the most is I thought I was done. I was saving and saving and being so frugal, only to blow it all away.

I am afraid the same thing will happen with drugs. I get randomly tested for probation and already have a violation. One more and I get 3 years. I start an out patient duel diagnosis program Monday for drug addiction and mental illness. I can't stop thinking about using.

I am NOT in control. The only thing really keeping me straight is my cat, the opportunity to go back into finance when my case gets dismissed, and the idea of starting a family when I'm older.

I've been stable for three years now.

Sounds all good, right?

Well it doesn't feel good.