You are aware that marijuana stays in your system for quite a long time, are you not?

Do you have a psychiatrist in all this? I'm just wondering whether there is more to this than just you 'freaking out.' Sometimes, for example, bipolar people can be unbelieveably irritable and angry and throw tantrums. Just kinda wondering about all that here.

Have you sat your parents down and told them why you are using? That you can't cope with your life without it? Just be real. Tell them what you are experiencing and that you need more help than you are getting.

Sending you positive, calming vibes. Hang in there. This will get better. It is very hard to be in the years you are now in. Just don't give up. It gets better.