thank you all! I really like the idea of a session dedicated to strengthening the relationship. I think that although there are some things I would feel uncomfortable to explore, for the most part, I would find it easier to respond to a question rather than try to bring it up myself. I think it has something to do with my attachment style and the way I see my T (father figure). I'm anxious about the way he sees me and his opinion of me. I am worried I am too attached and that this annoys him, or makes me look bad in his eyes. I feel like I am too old to need him as a kid needs a parent figure. It's embarrassing. I feel like I want to talk about it but I find it hard to open up. I'd find it easier if he asked the questions. I don't know if he would agree. I have fears that I am THAT patient who exasperates the therapist with neediness and that even though he won't terminate me, he is looking forward to me not coming anymore. Sometimes I like to think he cares (I KNOW he does), but the doubts make it hard to accept it and I find reasons why he would be annoyed with me.

I'm in my 20s and yet whenever i am in session, I feel like a small kid. It's embarrassing. I'm so ashamed of this.