I have discovered that I have made a ton of progress with DBT. I like the type of therapist who lets me talk about whatever I want but I have to admit that I have made more improvement with the more directive kind. Being empathetic and validating is completely non-negotiable. I think that you have to like the therapist. For me that is a necessary but not sufficient requirement. Maybe see if you can get phone consultations with a few. Often therapists in private practice and some clinics will do that for free. You can tell a lot on the phone.