Just a quick note -- I'm going over to my son's house to "hang out" in a little while. I may be on the other side of this. I hope so but take nothing for granted.

My son and I were never estranged but my daughter was. She would not respond to me and initiated nothing, except Christmas cards with photos of her family, for about 5 years. We've been talking for about 2 now. First year was better than this last one, but contact has not been shut down again. I'm hopeful we may move forward again but can't know -- and can't control -- whether that will happen or not.

When she first stopped talking to me my psychiatrist at the time said, "Well, she's an adult." I was horrified. Her not talking to me was, to me, WRONG. So, what could I do about it? Nothing, apparently. And he didn't think there was anything so necessarily bad or wrong about it. Just something for me to accept? To me that was incomprehensible. I called and asked for another appointment, got one the next day I think, for him to try to explain this to me. I still didn't agree with him after the appointment but understood that was his point of view and might be others' as well.

I'm not a fan of the mental health profession and this is not the place to talk about that. Just to say, we are not alone. And the strength of mothers' love, even imperfect mothers' love, may have been underestimated. I hope so anyway!